Last Thursday we received the terrible news that Amy's cancer treatment wasn't working. It didn't come as a huge surprise as Amy's health and general wellness has really deteriorated during the last couple of weeks.
The oncologist strongly advised to stop treatment, in her words, Amy was facing a "brick wall". There were another couple of options open to us which the oncologist advised against - neither were 'miracle cures', both carried awful side effects and in Amy's condition may well have shortened rather than prolonged her life.
Amy had thought a lot about it and took the decision to stop all treatments. Her body is tired and battle-weary- more than I can possibly describe. We've both lost count of the number of radiation sessions, hormone therapy and chemo's that she's tried (and that's aside from a number of operations). Nothing has (really) held the progression of the cancer up.
It means that Amy will now only live for a few weeks, possibly (at a push) two months until her body shuts down and she dies.
I can't tell you how heartbreaking this is for all of us. We reflected on it yesterday and more than half of our seven year marriage has been under the shadow of cancer - a disease so awful there's no metaphor to adequately describe its horribleness.
Every day throughout this I have been amazed by Amy's strength and bravery. The oncologist remarked on how dignified Amy has been throughout this whole terrible chapter and what a beautiful person she is, and I can only echo that.
I love you so much Amy. You have always been the lid to my pot, the love of my life and nothing will ever change that.