Monday, September 1, 2014

Update on Amy

Last Thursday we received the terrible news that Amy's cancer treatment wasn't working. It didn't come as a huge surprise as Amy's health and general wellness has really deteriorated during the last couple of weeks.

The oncologist strongly advised to stop treatment, in her words, Amy was facing a "brick wall". There were another couple of options open to us which the oncologist advised against - neither were 'miracle cures', both carried awful side effects and in Amy's condition may well have shortened rather than prolonged her life.

Amy had thought a lot about it and took the decision to stop all treatments. Her body is tired and battle-weary- more than I can possibly describe. We've both lost count of the number of radiation sessions, hormone therapy and chemo's that she's tried (and that's aside from a number of operations). Nothing has (really) held the progression of the cancer up.

It means that Amy will now only live for a few weeks, possibly (at a push) two months until her body shuts down and she dies.

I can't tell you how heartbreaking this is for all of us. We reflected on it yesterday and more than half of our seven year marriage has been under the shadow of  cancer - a disease so awful there's no metaphor to adequately describe its horribleness.

Every day throughout this I have been amazed by Amy's strength and bravery. The oncologist remarked on how dignified Amy has been throughout this whole terrible chapter and what a beautiful person she is, and I can only echo that.

I love you so much Amy. You have always been the lid to my pot, the love of my life and nothing will ever change that.

17 comments:

Kylie Ofiu said...

Oh Trevor and Amy, I am so sorry. No words can express the feelings. I lost my mum at 15 to cancer. It is a horrible disease. That tore me up, but I cannot imagine losing your spouse to it. My thoughts and prayers are with you. xx

Theresa said...

I am so sorry to hear this news. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Anonymous said...

My thoughts are with you both. I think I know what you are going thru. My Kate and I went through the same ghastly decision 12 months ago. I miss her terribly. Peter xxx

David Digby said...

What terrible news Amy and Trev. I can't imagine what you are going through. Audrey Audrey can empathise as she has lost her mum, brother and father to this dreadful disease. We'll be thinking of you and hoping you get the longest time possible together.

Ruth Wells said...

I met Amy in an Advanced Breast Cancer Facebook Site where we talk about treatments and issues and help each other with the battle. Amy Hickman is officially the nicest person I have met through this and always acts with integrity and grace, I wish I had met Amy as I know we would be the best of friends. Love you and I hope you are comfortable and surrounded by love my darling. This life is not the end. Show them and defy the odds gorgeous xxxxxxx

Unknown said...

Absolutely heartbreaking. No one will ever replace you dear Amy. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. All of my love. Jessx

Margaret Logan said...

Amy is indeed a most beautiful soul. Her smile has always been able to catch my heart. I am so saddened to hear this news, although as you say Trevor it was not really unexpected.
I hope your family are able to make the most of the time you have left together, knowing that you will never really be apart.
I love you Amy, my thoughts are with you all

Patrick Davies said...

I have stared at my laptop for a long time now, not knowing what to say. The words that frequently come to mind are not really for a family blog. Amy, Trevor, Audrey and Eli - I am thinking of you every day. I hope you get to spend some good family time together in the coming weeks. Love to you all. Patrick

Anonymous said...

Amy is a dear friend who I met through the Support for Women with Advanced Breast Cancer Friendship Group on Facebook. We had planned to finally meet in Adelaide for the first time in the past July school holidays, but sadly this wasn't to be. Amy you are an amazing woman and a wonderful friend, and I am so saddened to hear this news. My prayers are with you, Trevor, Audrey and Eli at this very difficult time. All my love, Celeste xxx

Simon Miels said...

Amy and Trevor, we're so shattered for you. Amy you are and have always been and will always be a truly wonderful friend. Our lives are richer for having you in it. There is so much I want to say but just can't find the right words. Love you always Barb, Simon and Jack xxx

John G said...

Dear strong, smiling, dignified Amy

My thoughts and wishes are with you and your wonderful family.

You will be remembered

John Griffin

Anonymous said...

Dear Amy

Thank you for being you. You were the best work twin ever :-)

I wish you strength and love for the coming weeks.

Sending you and your family the biggest hugs in the world,

Steph Oberscheider

Ambasada said...

Dearest Amy, I love what Ruth Wells wrote and support every word she wrote adding that Amy is officially the best boss ever. Warsaw remembers you, Amy, and always will. You are so fortunate to have such a great love and family. You will not stop looking after them, as this life is not the end.
Marysia

Anonymous said...

This is such sad news Amy and Trevor. My thoughts are with you. I hope you get many love filled days together. Adina

Anonymous said...

Dear Amy, I will miss your wonderful sense of humour. My thoughts are with you and your family. I will miss you always. Debbie Rutter

Anonymous said...

heartbreaking is the word. We are thinking of you all....Amy it's clear you will tackle the weeks ahead with the same courage, dignity and love that you've shown throughout.

Take care

Glenda Steve and the girls

Philip Chou said...

Dear Trevor - we got the heartbreaking news about Amy in the office this afternoon. We are all shocked and very sad. I've spent the evening thinking about our time together in Warsaw. Our thoughts are with you and the children at this terrible time for you. Dianne, Philip, Jeremy & Emily.