Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The curse of the tiny little plastic toys.

Christmas has brought with it a whole load of challenges in the form of new tiny little plastic toys (TLPT)

TLPT must have been scourge of the family household since a Danish vacuum cleaner first choked while sucking up a stray bit of Lego in 1958. Now some of the Lego blocks (even those fiddly one piece bits) look positively gargantuan in comparison to some of the TLPT available.

Possibly the tiniest were some 3 Playmobil ducks, which all disappeared about 5 seconds after the pack was torn open. I reckon they were about 2mm each. Occasionally one reappears for a few minutes before disappearing in the chaos of the toy strewn living room floor. On Christmas Day not long after opening another packet we spent 20 minutes looking for one of Tinkerbell’s tiny tiny slippers (now securely superglued to her feet) to the background of tragic screams and wails from Audrey which accompanied its loss.

My Little Pony (which themselves are pretty microscopic) came with companions (a dog and a mouse) which are about 1/10,000,000 life scale. As a result on Boxing Day We lost hours of our life looking for a 1cm high plastic mouse and found it long after Eli had given up caring about its existence.

A search for the proverbial needle in a haystack would have been an absolute doddle by comparison. Besides I’m sure Fisher Price would now be able to design a toy which fitted comfortably on the end of the needle anyway.

And if you think your mobile phone is small, you should have seen Barbie's (which of course vanished almost instantly).

I’m not sure about Father Christmas, there are clearly a few things which question his existence (not least the lack of chimneys in new homes) but I'm beginning to suspect he must be real as given the micronisation of the toy box it would only be elves possessing fingers small enough to pack TLPT in boxes.

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