Back to school on Monday

Dear Amy,

The kids started school today. We managed to negotiate the six weeks holiday, but I admit it was pretty tricky at times. Your Dad came to help for a couple of weeks which was great (they really love their Poppy) and the kids had an assortment of play-dates and days out. They played tennis for the last week – you know, at the courts you used to take them to.

And so we sat on the front step where we sit every year, but this time you weren’t there. Eli realised the significance of it all and started crying. I joined in. When we’d composed ourselves a bit we balanced the camera on the wheely-bin to do a family ‘selfie’ like we’ve done for the last few years. There was an Amy-sized gap in the picture where you should have been.

School was odd. The kids got themselves dressed really nicely. Eli was so smart in his new shoes and Audrey’s dress fortunately (although admittedly shorter than when she wore it last in December) still fitted her. She seems to have shot up recently – she’s such a big girl.

Audrey disappeared with her mates as soon as we arrived at school. She loves her friends – I hope she settles in with her new teacher. Eli was a bit more tentative – as he’s a new child to the Kindy, I was allowed to stay with him for a while. He loved sitting at his new desk – he’s got a couple of good mates in his class too, it’s really nice. His teacher is very keen, he’s a young guy, but looks and sounds very capable.

Afterwards the principle ushered us away from the class for a cup of tea outside the hall. It was odd having tea and biscuits with other Mums and Dads. Strange being on my own.

I took a peek through Eli’s class window before I left. He was chatting to his mates and looking through a book. He’s such a lovely boy.

I cried most of the way to work. I wish you’d been here today, I know how much you wanted to be.

Love always xxxx